i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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