he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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