if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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