called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
