State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Randomize
