OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
