Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
