Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
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They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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