I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
