I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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