drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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