made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
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Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
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I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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