We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
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we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
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I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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