we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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