I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
