john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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