Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
