i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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