do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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