we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
