This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize