I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
