I molested 6 butterflies tonight
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
