before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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