Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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