my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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