They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
