worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
