I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Pants 0. Shit 1.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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