We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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