Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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