Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
