the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
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When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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