I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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