he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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