Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Don't make out with my wife yet
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
