ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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