its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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