you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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