Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
