she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize