i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
