And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
