Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
you had me at cake vodka
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
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