She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
