Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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