I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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