our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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