:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I deserve this hangover.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
