So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize