I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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