he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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