that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You made out with two different species that night
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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