I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Congratulations! We have a period
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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