It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
