Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
