My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
